Readers Respond: Comment on "The Devil Incarnates"

Responses: 4

From Ginny Wiehardt, former About.com Guide

Do you have comments or advice for Diana? What was particularly good about her story? Are there things that could be improved? Share Your Comments

I think it's great that you spoke up when something offended you, but as a gay man, I'm offended by your use of the word "homo." If you're going to call other people out for discriminatory language, you might be more sensitive to how your choice of words might affect others. It doesn't only work one way.
—Guest Sam

ight, dis was a tight, a little buck for me dough. if you aint guess it yet, im a "negro" and i don like how yu punks put that. imma report this for discrimination and yall better get rid a dis before it goes through. but aye, let me freestyle for you real quick, hopefully you like it and you find a way to get me famous. you saying negro like a symbol im freestylin for you without a tempo im not simple i play lots of kimps and dominos though i say all my words thorough rocking with some polo while im staying solo no homo asking me where i got those clothes there only one of a kind and mine shine and so does my 9 im doing lines all the time taking it in by the dime you should mind your mind before you blare out some hurtfull words say it again and ill herd you before you herd these words. word? and thats for sure.
—Guest lucifer

Your story was beautifuly chaotic, even for the short amount you typed up. I'd really like to see this become a full fledged story. You should really write more. Love, Random commenter
—Guest Lisa

First person is difficult. I lost your train of thought in this due to the mixed tenses and lack cohesiveness. Also, a spell checker does not pick up on the wrong word...their vs. there. The story has a good premise, just a poor follow up. I would suggest trying it from a different view point, you may find it easier.
—Guest SHeighes